Jinx
by Gateway2000
Summary: Heero's been jinxed by Duo, not that he really understands it. Heero's plan: trick Duo into saying his name three times. Duo's plan: Have some fun before letting Heero off. Of course, nothing ever goes as planned. 1x2x1, 3x4
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You see a fat lady, who opens her heavily lipsticked mouth and sings:

"THEEEE AAAAUUUUTHOOOOOORRRRRRR DOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT OOOOOOOWWWWWN! GUUUUUUUNDAAAAAAAAM WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"

Meanwhile, a scrawny girl in a pink tutu steps _lightly_ and twirls at random times across the stage, holding a sign saying. "The author does not own Gundam Wing." They bow, and back away.

Duo Maxwell had been watching Heero. He knew that he always woke up at 5:30. To the very second. He knew that he'd shower in five minutes, even faster if they had a mission, and brush his teeth. Heero would then go to the desk in the room they shared, turn on his laptop, and do...well, he wasn't sure what Heero did. The reports didn't take _that_ long, and were done at the end of the day. He wasn't about to look either. It was an invasion of privacy. Okay, fine. He didn't want to be brutally murdered by Heero. At seven, they'd all gather downstairs in the kitchen and eat. No one ever missed it, although Duo was late at times. How strange that they, all who lacked families or contact with them, would eat together, like a family was supposed to. How strange that most families didn't do that anymore, but they did. Quatre would invite them to help themselves when he and Heero entered the kitchen together. Trowa would nod at them without a word, like always. Duo would taunt Wufei, who would retaliate violently. Quatre would smile at them, and attempt to be the peacemaker. Who, of course, nearly always failed. Trowa would watch them silently, but Duo had noticed he focused mostly on Quatre, and that he seemed happier when he did. It was so slight, though, that Duo wondered if he was hallucinating. Heero would ignore them and eat his breakfast quickly and efficiently before retreating to their room and his laptop. What is that you ask? No, Duo wasn't a stalker, but he _was_ observant.

"Heero! Heero? Heero.... HEY! HEERO! CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Duo shouted into Heero's ear. Duo was bored. A bored Duo Maxwell usually meant bad news for whichever victim he chose to annoy. This time, his victim was Heero Yuy, Pilot of Wing Gundam, 01, Perfect Soldier himself. "Ooh! Wanna hear a song? I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes- I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes- I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes-" Duo sang happily and loudly. Heero was hand was twitching quite violently, a dead giveaway that Duo finally got to him. It was safe to say the cheery loudmouth knew what Heero was about to say, having landed in the situation often. Without even looking up from his laptop screen, Heero issued an order.

"Shut up, Duo," Heero and Duo said simultaneously. Heero's voice was annoyed. Duo's, sarcastic.

Duo immediately gave a shout. "Jinx!" Mentally, he snickered. Heero was extremely adorable when he was confused. "Aw...is the Perfect Soldier lost?"

Woah. He'd have to watch out for those Heero Yuy Death Glares. But at least he looked up from that accursed screen.

"You see, when you're jinxed. You can't talk unless I say your name three times. Nicknames don't count. Yeah, I know you don't talk that much, but hey! I can imagine it now. Life without 'omae o korosu,' 'hn,' and 'shut up.' Okay, maybe not life."

He was confused again! It was confirmed. Duo Maxwell was enjoying this little game a lot.

"It's a _game_, Hee-chan. Games have _rules_," Duo explained. _Let's see if Perfect Soldier knows what a game is._

He supposed the returning Death Glare was another way to say, "No, the Perfect Soldier doesn't."

"Alright! If you utter a syllable before I say your name three times, you'll have to eat the leftover cookies I baked for you yesterday. I'll get Quatre and Trowa and maybe even Changles to help! Q-man owes me, and Changles might want entertainment." Trowa will do anything Quatre asks him to. There was no need to say that, as both of them knew it to be true.

Ooh, was that fear he saw on Heero's face? His cooking wasn't _that_ bad, was it?

"It's edible! It was so good that Quatre was speechless!" He didn't have to mention that he had run to the bathroom right after and puked.

Death Glare, intensify! Heero did know that was a joke, right? A joke hecouldn't have heard, since Duo _thought_ it, and Heero Yuy was, is, not a telepath. Nevermind.

"I take it you don't agree."

Heero Yuy smirked. Now, now, Duo, don't drool, no matter _how_ hot he looks.

Maybe Heero _could_ read thoughts. He was the Perfect Soldier. Wait, had Duo accidentally spoke aloud? Why, yes, he had. "Heeeero...,"Duo whined, then realized. "Oh, fuck."

The smirk widened and Heero held up three fingers. Then, he slowly placed one down. Without words, his message was delivered. _One time down, two more to go. Baka...you're making this too easy._ He turned his face back to the laptop, which instantly consumed Heero's rapt attention.

Duo walked out of the room, annoyed, and went downstairs. He fell gracelessly on to their cream-colored couch in the living room, and sulked. _I can't believe I let him get the upper hand so soon after I had obtained it._ Damn Perfect Soldier. Eventually, Heero would get his freedom of speech back, but it had to be on Duo's terms. _Shinigami will get his revenge on you Heero Yuy. Being hot and sexy won't save you now._

_End Chapter 1  
Author's Notes: So how was it? Horrible? Tell me in a review! - (I'm so pitiful.) For the record, though, this was written at three in the morning and typed up at midnight. _


	2. Chapter 2

Typing away on his computer, Heero Yuy contemplated his situation. He didn't really understand this "jinx" thing, but he knew he didn't want to eat Duo's god awful cookies. No matter how much Duo tried to deny it, Heero had seen what happened when Trowa had a momentary lapse of intelligence and tried them. It wasn't a pretty picture, he knew, and he didn't stay around to find out just how ugly it could get. Heero had already gotten Duo to say his name once, what's to say he couldn't do it two more times, and soon. He didn't want to be mute if they received a mission. Duo probably hadn't considered that, but there was a serious lack of missions recently. He couldn't risk it. Pulling a gun on Duo was out. Duo could defend himself well, and also...he had grown on Heero. Much more than Heero would have thought. There just wasn't a solution he could come up with at this moment.

"It's LUNCH time!!!!!" Speak of the devil. "Hello? Why aren't you responding? Oh right, I remember. You can't talk."

Duo's taunts were as subtle as dying Nataku hot pink. Heero sent him a glare that said, "And whose fault do you think that is."

Duo understood, he could tell, by the grin just a little too wide to mean any good. "Come down and eat already. It's not like you can do much with your mouth and tongue."

Silently, Heero followed Duo down the steps to the kitchen, where Quatre smiled apologetically at him. A second later, he found out why.

"Yuy, I hope you do say something. I would love to see you eat Maxwell's nuclear waste." Wufei greeted him.

Trowa said, "So would I."

"I'm sorry, Heero, but I would help, to be honest." Quatre's words provided no comfort. He glared at them all before sitting down and helping himself to a bowl of rice.

"Heh heh, we should take advantage of this. You know, taunt him."

"Duo, he could still shoot you."

"He wouldn't."

"By the look on his face, I think he would."

"Quatre, he's not going to do that. It would damage whatever mission we get next if there isn't enough people."

"Duo's right, Quatre.'

"Well, I guess so, Trowa."

"What, you're still calling him 'Trowa,' Quatre? Shouldn't it be 'Honey bunny' or 'Sugar cookie' or 'Hot hot sex buddy?'"

"Duo!" Heero wondered if Quatre practiced that scandalized, yet reprimanding voice. Even if he didn't he sure mastered it. He was glad that the conversation changed directions. Just because he wasn't allowed to talk, didn't mean that they had to act as if he wasn't there. He didn't talk most of the time anyways. But he had to do something about the jinx. It was damaging his precious reputation as a badass, mission-oriented...no, he didn't build this reputation on purpose. Not at all. None of those long hours of building the wall, ice brick by ice brick, training, suffering was to build his reputation. Well, you can't give Heero all the credit, Odin Lowe and Dr. J helped a lot too. Yes, Heero Yuy has a damn sense of humor! It appears in desperate situations!

He stuck his spoon into his mouth, only to find that while he was musing, he finished his food. Unfortunately for Heero, Duo saw it too.

"Oh, is poor Hee-chan in dire need of something for his mouth to do? I'm sorry, I didn't know that an innocent little _game_ would be so _damaging_ to the strong, nothing-can-hurt me Perfect Soldier."

Damn Duo. Damn him. Damn him and his braid. Damn him and his violet eyes. Damn him and his figure. Damn him and the fact that he was everything and the only thing Heero wanted.

He had to do something. The jinx was getting to him. He couldn't focus on his work. All right, if he tried he could, but the jinx was a more pressing issue at the moment. Then Heero remembered something Duo said.

"It's not like you can do much with your mouth and tongue."

"Oh, is poor Hee-chan in dire need of something for his mouth to do?"

How strange that the very person that put him into this mess was the one helping him get out of it.

Heero prepared to hunt Duo down.

On the couch...no. In the kitchen...no. Polishing Deathscythe...no. In Deathscythe's cockpit...kinky, but no. In Quatre and Trowa's room...er, probably not, but he didn't want to check just in case. According to the...moans, it would be somewhat awkward to walk in on them. Wufei's room...no. Closet...no. Any of the 32 bathrooms...well, one was locked. Heero waited.

Wufei came out.

Dammit! He'd wait for Duo to come to him! Heero walked back into his room to type on the laptop, and there Duo was, reading a book, on the bed. Mentally, he twitched. Isn't it amazing what goes on under that façade of his?

Well, Heero wasn't going to wait any longer for this! He yanked Duo's book out of his hands.

"What the fuck was that fo-" Duo was cut off, for Heero had kissed him, and quite ferociously.

"Heero?" Ha. Part two of mission, completed. But Duo had a strange look on his face....


End file.
